Welcome to my online dating profile, which I created for friends to set me up with their friends. It’s also open to you, random internet person. “dateblake.com” redirects here.
What’s this about?
I’m looking for a relationship! Like, a serious relationship. A Big Relationship. While I met all my previous loves through organic/IRL activities, I’m open to connecting with someone online. Maybe that’s you! 😱💘 Let’s go.
Table of contents
- Why am I so weird?
- What am I looking for?
- What can I offer?
- How would we actually get to know each other, Mister Nomad?
- A few references, real and otherwise.
- Okay, interesting…
Why am I so weird?
Because weird is the only way to be! But perhaps you mean desperate, because I have my own dating page? I don’t see this as an act of desperation, rather an intentional experiment in service of ONE OF LIFE’S BIGGEST DECISIONS. Algorithms dictate enough of our lives already—looking at you, Discover Weekly—and the apps are full of too many Perfectly Nice Normal People craving Perfectly Nice Normal Lives.
I’m weird in many ways. Ever since I was a child, I’ve had an active imagination and voracious intellect. A few good books and unconventional mentors radically influenced my young adult trajectory. I’ve lived much of my life in community, in nature, on the road, and as a guest. (This is a fairly typical Blake-year.) I’m fueled by big projects, new horizons, and deep connections. Normal jobs, homes, and relationships aren’t exactly my thing. So here I am, seeking a partner-in-crime in my own weird way.
The links go to my writing, evidence of my particular brand of weirdness.
What am I looking for?
I’ll offer a few concrete details and then describe the spirit of the thing.
Details: You’re a fit, strong, outdoorsy woman. You have pooped in the woods. You have pooped in the woods! You’re in a good financial position: bills don’t stress you out each month, giving you options in life, not just obligations. You have solo traveled abroad. You have solo traveled abroad! You’ve found an interesting way to earn money doing something meaningful. Your work doesn’t dominate your life, and you enjoy time wealth. You’re a lover of ideas who reads books, listens to podcasts, and debates with friends. You may or may not want kids, or already have them. You’re not entangled with an ex. Your age probably begins with a “3.” You’re ready for something real—not necessarily forever, but real.
Spirit: Rarely have you felt like you “fit in” anywhere in particular. It’s hard to stay settled, because you know how big the world is, and you want to experience it. Friendships matter deeply to you, as do the people you serve. You have a profound relationship with nature which cannot play second fiddle to city life for very long. You’re not looking for someone to complete you, as you are already complete. Your other, non-romantic relationships could genuinely sustain you. But you see romantic partnership as another great adventure, one you don’t want to miss.
What can I offer?
Great conversation, moral support, foot/back rubs, a mountain adventure partner, ongoing life coaching in the style of “why not attempt this seemingly crazy but delicious idea?”, creative collaboration, spontaneous dances, quiet evenings reading together on a couch, winters in the southern hemisphere, petting cats on the street, plenty of time+space to do your own thing—and tacos, so many tacoooos! 🌮🌮🌮
Maybe a co-parent who seriously buys into the “travel the world with kids” notion. Maybe a child-free partner who nonetheless enjoys hanging with friends’ kids and taking them on amazing adventures. 100%: a trustworthy, high-stoke, sun-loving, cheery-optimistic California boy.
Mama always said, “date a boy who can dance.” Evidence: 1 / 2
How would we actually get to know each other, Mister Nomad?
Valid question! Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in the same place and could casually meet like NORMAL PEOPLE? Alas, unlikely to happen. So here’s my next best idea.
- First, a videochat. No expectations! Let’s just assume we’ll have a nice conversation and become friends, acquaintances, or two charming, oddly good-looking ships passing in the night.
- If we vibe, more videochats. Crazy idea, right? Thanks, I came up with that.
- If vibes are STRONG, we craft a mutually exciting plan to meet. This could be me visiting you, you visiting me, or both of us meeting someplace new, for a few days to a few weeks. Did you ever read The craziest OkCupid date ever? It’s an inspiring (and admittedly extreme) blueprint for what’s possible. Even if it “doesn’t work out,” we both have a fun story to tell our friends:
We ended our journey after eight countries, 3,500 miles and 21 days in the same clothes. Our romantic relationship intact, Jeff and I boarded the Heathrow return flight as closer friends than ever (despite the questionable state of our undergarments). Materially speaking I was as empty-handed as the day we started, but I actually carried a great deal back home across the Atlantic. Traveling with no luggage and no plans was much more than a minimalist lesson in living well with less. It was an intense, in-your-face invitation to the unknown. There’s a truly magnificent side to the unknown, but we aren’t taught how to welcome it, let alone explore the breadth of its possibilities.
- After this point, we are two adults who figure things out. I’m genuinely open to creating a life in many different parts of the world—as long as it’s not the same place all the time!
A few references, real and otherwise.
Some years ago, I asked close friends to write dating endorsements, which are like job references but far more entertaining. 👉🏽Here’s what they said👈🏽
And here are some fictional references from my exes, which I wrote:
E1: “Blake’s a lot of fun, and very enthusiastic. He can also fall in love awfully quickly. Maybe dial down the romanticism from a 10 to a 7?”
E2: “It was pretty easy to live with Blake. I was also flexibly self-employed, and it was nice to spend time together when others were working 9-to-5. He helped me with my art shows. It kinda sucked when he went away for multiple months on those teen trips. He’s got some sort of addiction to the mountains, like it’s some core part of his identity. He judged me for not being ‘adventurous’ enough. Get over yourself, man.”
E3: “Blake and I fell for each other despite living on different continents. We loved going to dances together. In the beginning it was invigorating, but eventually I realized that he’s probably never, ever, going to settle down. I wanted to have a rather normal life in a single place, while he wanted to live in some magical land of infinite possibility, sunshine, and chocolate. I do appreciate the effort he put into establishing a friendship after we broke up. Dating Blake could be chaotic, but it was a meaningful, memorable kind of chaos.”
E4: “He’s a great cycle touring partner. He’ll cook for you and clean your kitchen afterwards. And it’s fun to work on creative projects together. Beyond that, I’m not sure what to say. He’s got a bit too much time on his hands.”
Another great lurking opportunity: TikTok!
Okay, interesting…
Where do we go from here?
You’re welcome to reach out directly (📧yourstruly@blakeboles.com), but you’re also invited to email my friend Julie (📧 mcp.julie@gmail.com).
Julie and I have known each other for 20+ years. She’s a long-time adventure/travel buddy, former co-worker, x-life-crisis confidant, and all-around homie. She knows me well, and she’s super kind.
If you’re not sure if our brands of weird match, think of Julie as a WEIRDNESS TRANSLATOR who can grease the wheels and act as a sounding board for any questions you might have. She’s great with confidentiality. THANK YOU JULIE!
Best of luck in your own dating journey! 💘
(see also: Nick Gray’s Tokyo Blind Date, which is fantastic)